


The bar talks

by anatomheart



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 01:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6495241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anatomheart/pseuds/anatomheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Howard asks a question, Vince answers</p>
            </blockquote>





	The bar talks

**Author's Note:**

> My translation of my own fic written in Russian, in november 2015.

“I don`t think it was a good idea, not at all”, said Howard, looking around nervously. 

This phrase would have sounded weird to someone unfamiliar with the whole situation: bars, after all, are not related to dangerous adventures or crazy ideas and, moreover, are made for rest and entertainment; but, nevertheless, Howard`s idea of relaxation was completely different. Anyway, the bar was too crowded and nobody would have listened to him.

“Oh come on!” intoned Vince carelessly. He was leaning to the bar table, relaxed, with a half empty cocktail glass in his hand. “Everything`s gonna be fine!”  
Vince was clinging to the crossbar of the bar stool with his shiny cowboy boots hills, cosed on the plastic seat, impatiently moving his left foot which was hanging from the stool.

“Good”, answered Howard adruptly, still stressed, looking very much like he didn`t want to be where he was in this moment. He looked around again, twirled on the stool a bit, adjusted his shirt collar, shook his head hopelessly and turned all his attention to his cocktail, mixing it up with a tube pointlessly. Vince was staring at him, smiling absently, sometimes turning to look at the window, leaning close to the surface of the table, resting not very steady in his arm, bent in the elbow.

It was a particular rare occasion when Vince wanted to hang out at a bar for some time, mainly to show off, check out people`s outfits, wear something special himself, get inspired by something and many other different stuff. It took fifteen minutes to persuade Howard to go with him, and Howard had been regretting hid decision also for fifteen minutes already.

“Seriously, mate, jest relax”, asked Vince once more, starting to sound unclear from alcohol. He gets drunk pretty fast, and that moment he was smiling brighter then he usually does, eyes gleaming, cheeks blushed. Melting into this kind of euphoria, which fited him so well, he somehow even forgot to spin around and search for thrills as he usually does. After sitting like that for about a minute he looked up from the table and glanced at Howard a bit more consciously. He (who although had managed to relax a little) felt his glance and looked at him in response. After few seconds he started feeling tensed because of the long pause.

“What is that?”  
“Nothing.”

Vince had, apparently, lost in his thought for a while, and then smiled again.

“I shouldn`t have gone here, this is obvious.” Stated Howard quietly and hopelessly.

“Why?”

Howard rolled his eyes and made a vague but expressive gesture, which was supposed either to be a rhetorical question or call to human common sense. “I am… not created for such places. I can`t fall to it, I`d better spend an evening alone or in company of decent men, Vince, and besides, I`m just…”  
“What just?” Asked Vince with sudden interest.

“Don`t fit here.”

“So what?”

Howard paused, trying to find some correct words, but Vince was already distracted by something else, forgetting about his question. This time he was looking to the window to observe an outfit of a girl who passed by, studying her shoes carefully.

“Do you even need my answer?”

“Hm?” Vince turned back. “Yes. Maybe. Dunno.”

“Maybe? Why are you so careless?”

“Am I?”

“You look like you`re playing something. Ask me or not, listen to me or not, depends on what face of a die falls.”

Vince grinned.  
“Sure. The thing is whatever I choose, `t will be exciting anyway. That`s cool.”

“What are you talking about?” frowned Howard, confused.

“Whatever. Too long to explain.”

“Too long to explain? You`re impossible!”

“Don`t be such a nerd!”

“When you shouldn`t have invited me here, sir. I`m used to deep conversations.”

“Maybe I should not talk at all?”

“Oh yeah sure.”

“I could do that!”

“You could have not.”

“What, you don`t want me silent?”

“Oh dunno. You won`t shut up anyway.”

“Really? So won`t you.” 

Vince paused a bit and grinned.

“Alright.”

“Alright.”

They were silent for few seconds. Vince put away his glass, dropped the tube on the floor and instead moved Howard`s glass to himself to look inside it.

“Oh my god, did you really order a non-alcoholic one?” He wondered blatantly, laughing at Howard and closing his face with his palm.

“Stop that!” Howard interrupted him resentfully. “I don`t need help of any drugs to have a good time. Besides, I have to keep my mind clear all the time, it is my main working tool after all.”

“So you`re hanging out at the bar waiting for brilliant ideas? Oh, so intellectual.”

“I wish I could wipe that impudent grin off your face.”

Vince laughed even more.

“What`s so funny here? Did you drag me here to scoff at me? I could go away if you want to.”

“Where? Home, without me?”

“Well, if I only make you laugh… Me, a person with a serious, mature outlook, sustainable values, discriminating taste in music, make….”

Vince sighed and chuckled softly, shaking his head and closing his eyes with his palm again. “God, this is fascinating. You…”

 

“What?!” exclaimed Howard angrily.  
“The way you describe yourself… Like an advertisement. So nerdy… Amazing.”

“This is my style! What can I do if you don`t like it?”

“Dunno. Nothing. Keep being nerdy.”

“Stop calling me a nerd!”

“Come on. I like doing that. There are no such nerds in the whole world.”

Vince paused, thinking about something, looked into nowhere, then at Howard, and started giggling again.

“Amazing.”

“What is it? What is amazing? What are talking about? Although you won`t stop anyway.”

Vince grew serious for a while, turned to Howard and looked at him carefully.

“Do you want to know, what is amazing? Why am I laughing?” He suggested conspiratorially. “I could tell you.”

“Go on then.”

Vince stopped grinning for a moment, his face turned strangely serious, and then he smiled again, but in some other way, quietly and gently. This smile immediately reminded Howard of something terribly important, either something he always had inside him, or something new, that he would never be able to approach.

Vince slipped from the stool gracefully and stood beside Howard, who had mechanically followed his example.

“Do you know what is amazing? What takes me by surprise every time? I laugh because it`s fucking ridiculous and weird, this thing, this thing is every time you`re being nerdy or looking stupid, it is not funny, it is beautiful, because, you know, this is who you are, and it`s fascinating, so much that it makes me laugh.”  
Vince said it all at once, with no pauses, almost in one breath; and then pressed his body against Howard, grabbing lapels of his shirt and embracing him, and kissed him in the lips, not letting him say anything.

“Oh dear”, whispered Howard, when Vince moved away a bit to take a breath; and pulled him closer to himself in return.


End file.
